Downloading, deleting then re-installing Hinge or any other more grown-up dating app has become the pastime for most of us during the lockdown. Thanks to boredom and forced celibacy, we’re all romantically swiping with the hopes of speaking to someone charming who we probably won’t be able to meet IRL for a couple of months.
This routine brings out the fit boys and girls of Hinge. The ones who seem to appear first when you’ve ‘Just Joined’ the app. After a while, you can’t help but give a nickname to every match. You most likely can’t remember their real name, but ‘Z list actor who lives in Hackney Wick’ probably rings a bell.
Following this finger-numbing exercise, we decided to make a list of the types of people who seem to be regularly showing up on Hinge.
- Your ex.
- The one you’ve already slept with.
- The one you’ve had long deep chats with then stopped talking to.
- The one who already follows you on Instagram.
- The Z list actor.
- The Z list singer.
- The one who ‘lives’ in Piccadilly Circus.
- The one who’s clearly copied their answers from another person e.g. ‘I’d fall for you if…’ ‘you trip me up.’
- The one who messages ‘???’ when you don’t respond.
- The one who is 7ft.
- The one who is 4ft.
- The one who messages you once every three months.
- Your friend’s ex.
- The guy from the tube.
- The one with all the selfies.
- The one with all the group pictures.
- The ‘Co-Founder’ who has shit grammar.
- Last but not least, the one you’ve matched with 5 times before and haven’t said a word to.